We've spent the last week and a half getting to know all the gnome worshipping, ass tattooing, elderly rapping Giants fans—but it's time to take a look at the state of Patriots Nation. Are they confidently following the lead of their supreme leader, rollerblading pirate and impish genius Bill Belichick? Or are they wetting their pants and getting their supermodel girlfriends to write "disgustingly sappy" emails imploring their friends and family to pray for victory?
According to the Post, it has been the latter of those two. Supermodel Gisele Bundchen sent out the "disgustingly sappy" email to close friends and family, asking them to pray on behalf of her husband, UGG Boots Spokesman Tom Brady. “I feel Tommy really needs our prayer, our support and love at this time,” she wrote. Check out the rest of it below:
My sweet friends and family,
This sunday will be a really important day in my husband’s life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl...
So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this sunday.
Thank you for your love and support. Love, G :)
The Post has a field day with the "touchy-feely request for 'positive' thinking," but maybe the Patriots really do have a problem of biblical proportions: "Tom Brady is a great quarterback, but at the end of the day, he is just a quarterback. It is not like he is God," said Giants defensive star Jason Pierre-Paul. No, he's not JPP—that's exactly why Gisele needs all the people with less-than-perfect facial bone structure to pray for him.
But what if the real problem is that Brady is too complacent at this point? Who needs another Super Bowl victory when they have a super bowl at their home waiting for them every night: "You go over and use his toilet, and you press this button, and it sprays water on you and all this stuff, and I'm like, 'You gotta be kidding me,'" Wes Welker told the press after Brady's super toilet. "It's heated, it's all this stuff, and I'm like, 'This is crazy.'"
On second thought, that super toilet might just be more inspiring than anything. The real real problem for Brady is that he knows the Giants are going to win—he even said so on the radio the other day. “I’m Tom Brady, I’m from Staten Island and I predict Giants will prevail,” said a NY resident named Tom Brady on 1010 WINS. Then again, we could just blame Brady's sudden personality crisis on those hair plugs Gisele made him get.
