Jets tight end Kellen Winslow was arrested last November for smoking synthetic marijuana outside a Target in East Hanover. But that was just the tip of the iceberg: according to NJ.com, cops were initially called to the scene on Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m. because a witness thought she saw Winslow masturbating in his vehicle in the parking lot. And Winslow tried to use the old "looking for Boston Market but was lost" excuse.
Here's what the witness who called 911 told police happened when she spotted Winslow sitting inside his Escalade with the window open, according to the police report:
As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.
When an officer arrived, Winslow was allegedly "slouched in his seat and moving around." When asked what he was doing, Winslow allegedly said he was looking for Boston Market but was lost. Cops then noticed "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console" and plastic bags marked 'Mr. Happy' and empty plastic containers of 'Funky Monkey' scattered in the car.
"He stated that he smokes the 'legal' synthetic marijuana to help him relax," the police report said. "He said he purchases the items via the Internet and at local gas stations. He added that the NFL does not test for synthetic marijuana." Winslow has pleaded not guilty to possession of a controlled dangerous substance.
As for the vaseline/masturbation allegations, his spokesperson released a statement denying everything except Winston's American born freedom to smoke the manufactured version of the devil's weed: "Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance," Denise White said today. "He changed his clothes in his vehicle as to not smell like smoke when he returned home." Because who doesn't change their clothes in their car after they smoke? Really, we're asking. Is that something people do?
