If all the bedbug fart-detecting machines and protective seat covers in the world have failed you, turn now to a new "bedbug-resistant" bed, featuring "an ultra-slippery coating, splayed legs that push the bed away from walls that bedbugs might climb, an angled metal frame that the bugs can't bore into and a mattress sealed in medical-grade nylon."
The beds, currently being used in housing projects in Portland, Oregon, could be launched nationally as soon as the patent goes through. But are they worth the $500 price tag? We spoke to Jeffrey White, a research etymologist at BedBug Central, for his expert opinion on the beds:
"When they talk about the beds being 'bedbug proof' what that really means is that the bugs theoretically can't infest them. But it doesn't mean it will keep the bugs from getting near your bed. It's not going to prevent anything, it's not going to keep them out of your house. It might make controlling a problem easier because they don't have as many places to hide, but these bugs are pretty savvy in finding their way into beds. I have known bedbugs to walk up walls and drop down on top of beds."
So. There's that. Maybe all that crippling, life-halting anxiety isn't misplaced, after all.
