After weeks of ominous BQE billboards, caravans of catastrophe, and CDC Zombie Apocalypse guides, Judgment Day 2011: Go Rapture Or Go Home is finally here! Rapturist assistants are standing by with all your relevant questions on Twitter, and—oh, you're still skeptical? You're wondering why we haven't heard any reports of New Zealand's destruction, since it was 6 p.m. there hours ago? Well suck on this nonbelievers: there was an earthquake...near the South Sandwich Islands.

OK, so maybe those "moderate earthquakes" happened at the wrong time in regards to Harold Camping's mathematical doomsday prophecy, but it's close enough to count, right? After all, God is in charge of this whole Rapture thing, and he is a professional clockmaker. We may be grasping at straws, but we really need to be right about this one—how else can we justify listening to "It's the End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" for the last 17 hours straight? Even Michael Stipe is starting to get crabby.

We will admit, it's a bit strange that we haven't seen, or heard about, anyone ascending into the heavens just yet: "I am sure it will be very noticeable. You will actually see people ascending into the sky...It's one or the other - either God is bringing you up, or you're going to die in the earthquake," Robert Fitzpatrick, the retired MTA worker who spent $140,000 to publicize his belief in the end of days, told the News. Does this mean we're the earthquake people?

But this is no time for jokes—this is a time for magnets. "Many people will die and continue to die until Oct. 21st. That's why I am handing out magnets," Fitzgerald told the Post. If you're too lazy to go outside today, many sites are "live-blogging" the Rapture all day for your convenience. You can watch Gawker's nifty Rapture Cam here for all those sweet screen shots for your desktop.

If you're wondering what Camping and his clan are up to today, well, keep wondering: if they aren't returning the NY Times' phone calls, they sure aren't returning ours. We'll have an update at 6:01 p.m. covering all the chaos in the city, unless we turn out to be among the chosen few to ascend. But New Yorker writer Ben Greenman gave us something to think long and hard about as we sip Coolatas and loiter in a bike lane in Park Slope in the meantime: "Maybe instead of 'The world will end,' they meant 'The weather will be great.'"