In the past weeks several stories about the notorious ammonium hydroxide-treated beef product, also known as "pink slime," went viral after news got out that the stuff was used for years by National School Lunch Program. Fast food joints like Taco Bell and Burger King may have stopped using it, but it was still good enough for America's schools! And now, one extremely brave food writer has sacrificed his body in the name of journalism.

Responding to the kerfuffle, the US Dept of Agriculture announced on Thursday that school districts will be able to opt out of using the processed meat starting this fall. Some school districts, like in Boston, have decided to suspend serving any beef at all—quarantining some 62,000 pounds of their frozen meat—until the USDA assures them that there's no pink slime in it. Otherwise, the whole batch gets thrown away.

But how can someone know if the beef they're eating contains pink slime? It appears in a lot of supermarket beef, unless the package is specifically marked USDA organic—meat simply labeled "all-natural" guarantees nothing. J.M. Hirsch, the AP Food Editor, rolled the dice by purchasing slime-containing and slime-free ground beef and conducting a comparative home taste testing. His findings:

  • The "regular" beef was slightly darker in color and felt "fattier to touch" compared to the meat with the pink slime (even though they both contain supposedly the same fat content). When cooking the patties, the regular beef released two to three times as much fats or juices.
  • When cutting the patties open (both were cooked to medium-rare), the meat aroma was equally delicious for both, but the pink slime sample gave off no juices at all, while the regular beef released plenty of savory liquid.
  • Furthermore the questionable patty contained invisible "chewy bits" that reminded Hirsch of gristle. While the "mealy chew" wasn't a dealbreaker, it left the food reviewer with an unenthoused appetite.

Perhaps the USDA could repossess market the $200,000 worth of Boston's undoubtedly slime-tainted meat as a weight-loss aid—we can already picture the marquee: "One bite of ammonia-treated beef and you'll feel less hungry!"