Consumed with fear about the upcoming Mayan Doomsday? Have your Go Bag packed for the first sign of locusts? Not to add to your growing paranoia, but a little show called The X-Files also made some predictions about this month concerning—what else?—alien colonization. So set your iCal reminders for December 22nd, 2012, when the aliens will return to re-colonize earth, wipe out the human race, enslave us all, bring Donald Trump back to his home planet…probably do something really bad.
Who's your Daddy?
Though Chris Carter's increasingly convoluted alien conspiracy show had enough red herrings to feed an army of paranoid Swedes, it did offer up the official colonization date in The X-Files series finale, "The Truth." And even though yesterday the U.S. Government's blog officially stated the world would not end this month, it goes without saying they just want to keep us quiet before our new alien overlords arrive to pump us full of black oil and impregnate us with alien-human hybrids.
But is it too late to fight the future? According to the first X-Files movie, infected bees would carry the alien DNA to new hosts, who would in turn become vessels for an alien body to gestate and mature. Could this explain the uptick in urban beekeeping that's been sweeping the city recently? Has the Syndicate's colonization operation been going on right under our noses in the form of delicious, locally-produced alien honey? If that's the case, at least we can use our dying breath to officially blame the hipsters.
