"Affinity crimes" are an economic form of crime that is the exact opposite of Randy Newman's modern standard—prosecutors say they are on the rise, and are warning that while you should keep your enemies close, maybe you should start keeping your so-called friends at a secure distance. "It's someone saying, 'You can't trust Wall Street, but you can trust me. I'm one of you -- I'm from your church, I'm from your neighborhood, I'm from your same ethnic background,'" explained Micki Shulman, deputy chief of the Manhattan DA's Major Economic Crimes Bureau.

The Post highlights five recent cases which exemplify these cruel swindles, which all seem descended from the massive Ponzi scheme of Bernie Madoff, who successfully and tragically convinced friends and acquaintances they had the privilege of investing with him. Shulman recounted the story of Sharmon Wade, who convinced his friends, many of whom he had known since childhood and went to church with, he could double their money if they invested in his real estate company. Instead, it turned out to be a mini-Ponzi scheme, with several people losing their homes and running up massive debt in the process. Wade was convicted of defrauding 15 friends out of $1 million today in court.

Other notable affinity swindlers include: Leigh Morse, an art director who was convicted in a $120 million fraud scheme against trusting art clients; Guy De Chimay, who was sentenced in March to three years in prison for a nearly $7 million Ponzi scheme plied against close friends; Francisco Alberto Gautreaux Calcano, who convinced fellow Domincans to donate to an unreal charity; and identical-twin securities fraudsters Makara and Tsele Nkhereanye, brokers who were sentenced in October for drawing more than 40 investors out of $2 million. We'd add Ronald D. Moore to that list, who we literally followed to the end of the universe on an epic quest for Earth, before he heartlessly betrayed us with the dancing robot finale of Battlestar Galactica.