It's Friday—time to summon the man who brings you that expensive veterinary deworming drug that was once stepped on in the vicinity of cocaine and let the DOGS out! You don't know where that cocaine-like substance has been, or what it's seen in its long, dark journey to your hungry septum, and you probably don't want to know. But the U.S. Customs Communications Department isn't going to let you slink off into the weekend without a key bump worth of Truth—this morning they fired off a press release at 6:32 a.m. with a simple yet evocative title "Cocaine Vaginally Inserted Seized by CBP at JFK."
U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers say they found the coke inside U.S. citizen Shekira Thompson on February 21st when she arrived at JFK airport from Kingston, Jamaica. It's unclear why Customs officers pulled Thompson for questioning in a private search room, but during the course of the inspection she allegedly admitted to "vaginally inserting a foreign body."
Officials say Thompson had smuggled a half a pound of cocaine inside her vagina, with an estimated street value of $10,000. Thompson was arrested and now faces narcotics smuggling charges in Queens County District Court.
Mark February 21st as the day America's War on Drugs was won at last. Happy Friday.
