The coyotes hellbent on seeking revenge on a city that named a dive bar after their species have some competition—a wolverine had to be stunned by A Human this week after he chewed through his metal cage at Newark Airport.
The wolverine in question, Kaspar, was traveling from a Norway zoo to his new home at the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center on Monday when a United Airlines worker saw his head poking out of the cage. "It’s believed he chewed a hole in it," Port Authority spokesperson Joseph Pentangelo told the Times.
Wolverines, it turns out, look neither like giant wolves nor mutant Hugh Jackmans, and instead resemble fluffy bear/rat hybrids. Though cute, they can be quite deadly, and this particular wolverine—dubbed a "mass-murdering" "psycho-killer" by the ever composed NY Post—apparently killed a bunch of other wolverines. And though Kaspar never left his cage, officials weren't super comfortable having an animal known for its ferocity ravaging the menu items at Cheeburger Cheeburger.
A veterinarian from the Bronx Zoo was called in to administer a tranquilizer, and Kaspar was moved to a more secure cage before resuming travel. Hopefully, he is now having a nice time in Alaska.
