It's been a few weeks since President Trump's penchant for vulgarity earned him a mighty schlonging by the venomous media. The holidays gave us a brief respite from paying attention to his inanities, but Trump is back on the campaign trail making America great again for bigots, angry people, and Rush Limbaugh.
And if he has to corrupt the innocence of some children on the road to the White House, so be it. Just like this not-so-old song goes, you either deal from strength, or you get crushed every time. Here, let the Donald urinate in your ear:
Trump unveiled his official (semi-official? much-bootleged? obscure classic?) theme song on Wednesday night during a rally in Pensacola, Florida. A group called the Freedom Kids performed the tune, which Fox Phoenix calls "The Official Donald Trump Jam," but which we choose to believe is actually named "Cowardice? Are You Serious," like an Emily Dickinson poem.
Here are the lyrics:
Cowardice
Are you serious?
Apologies for freedom
I can’t handle this
When freedom rings
Answer the call!
On your feet
Stand up tall!
Freedom's on our shoulders
U.S.A.!
Enemies of freedom face the music
C'mon boys take them down
President Donald Trump knows how to make America great
Deal from strength or get crushed every time!
Over here
U.S.A.!
Over there
U.S.A.!
Freedom and liberty everywhere
Oh say can you see it's not easy
But we have to stand up tall and answer freedom's call
U.S.A.
U.S.A.!
U.S.A.
U.S.A.!
With the land of the free and the home of the brave U.S.A.
U.S.A.!
The stars and stripes are flying let's celebrate our freedom
Inspire proudly freedom to the world
Ameritude
American pride
It's attitude, it's who we are, stand up tall
We're the red white and blue, fiercely free that's who
Our colors don't run no siree
Over here
U.S.A.!
Over there
U.S.A.!
Freedom and liberty everywhere
U.S.A.!
Oh say can you see it's not so easy
But we have to stand up tall and answer freedom's call
Sure, we can all agree that song starts out very strong; the opening lines of the first verse are a rallying call on par with "Power To The People," or the Chili's theme song ("I want my baby back baby back baby back..."). But the chorus is a mess (ripping off songwriter Francis Scott Key without any credit), the refrain copies George M. Cohan's jingoistic war anthem "Over There," and the internal logic starts to collapse about halfway through. "Inspire proudly freedom to the world?" "Ameritude?" No siree, indeed.
This, good sir, is certainly no "American Pie."
