You may recall that CNN messed up in a major way yesterday afternoon when they announced that an arrest had been made in the Boston marathon bombings—only to walk back that exclusive an hour later, when it became very clear that no suspect had been identified yet. Jon Stewart and the Daily Show danced on the graves of "old media" last night, eviscerating CNN for reporting a "news story as imagined by M. Night Shyamalan." "Oh, it's exclusive because it was completely f*cking wrong," Stewart concluded. "Just out of curiosity, did any of your sources end their tip offs to you with the phrase, 'Bababooey'?"
"We're accustomed to 24 hour news networks thriving on conflict," Stewart continued. "Generally, though, that conflict is between two outside parties—political opponents, pundits—but CNN's reporters have discovered that they can remove the middle man and spend hours of programming fighting amongst themselves. They have figured out a way to shit in their own mouths. CNN has become the Human Centipede of News."
The segment concluded with an exclusive, possibly credible report of an unconfirmed arrest of "a dark skinned male, possibly white, or maybe a woman, it could be a mannish-woman, or an effeminate man."
