Torture (or "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques," in misleading bureaucrat-speak) did not make America safer. A Senate Intelligence Committee report says as much, as do the people who actually interrogated high value targets and obtained actionable intelligence by not torturing them. But because of the crushing guilt one must experience knowing they defiled the soul of America, the people who promoted the acts continue to defend them, and in the case of the man at the CIA who was in charge of the program, Jose Rodriguez, make money off them. Rodriguez sat down with 60 Minutes last night to promote his book, "Hard Measures." Here are the comments that should be read at his war crimes trial and not heard in a forum for self-promotion in front of millions of viewers.

Being Tortured In A Stress Position Is Like Going To The Gym: "I was thinkin' about this the other day. The objective was to induce muscle fatigue, and most people who work out do a lot more fatiguing of the muscles."

Depriving A Prisoner Of Sleep For Seven Days Is Like Jet Lag: "Sleep deprivation works. I'm sure, Lesley, with all the traveling that you do, that you have suffered from jet lag. And you know, when you don't get a good night's sleep for two, three days, it's very hard."

The CIA Was Using Its "Imagination" To Dream Up Torture Techniques: "And let me tell you something, you know, because years later the 9/11 Commission accused, or said that 9/11 was a failure of imagination. Well, there was no lack of imagination on the part of the CIA in June 2002. We were looking for different ways of doing this."

Systematic Torture Of Prisoners By Slapping Them For Hours Is Like A Bullshit Western Movie Cliché: "We don't break his jaw. And the objective is not to inflict pain. The objective is to let him know there's a new sheriff in town, and he better pay attention."

If You Don't Approve Of Torture, You Are A Child Who Hasn't Been Potty Trained:

Jose Rodriguez: We needed to get everybody in government to put their big boy pants on and provide the authorities that we needed.

Lesley Stahl: Their big boy pants on—

Jose Rodriguez: Big boy pants. Let me tell you, I had had a lot of experience in the agency where we had been left to hold the bag. And I was not about to let that happen for the people that work for me.

Everything You Thought America Stood For Is A Lie:

Lesley Stahl: So sleep deprivation, dietary manipulation. I mean, this is Orwellian stuff. The United States doesn't do that.

Jose Rodriguez: Well, we do.

Torture "Broke" Terrorists, Except When It Didn't: "That was the one secret he was going to take to the grave, and that was the protection of the Sheikh. He was not going to tell us." [Rodriguez said this moments after boasting that the "cumulative effect" of all the torture methods led 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to give them actionable intelligence. Instead, KSM lied, and gave them false information about the courier who worked for Osama bin Laden and knew his location.]

There are plenty of other moments in the story that make you want to punch your computer screen and weep and vomit: his unilateral decision to destroy 92 videotapes of an interrogation, his smug face as he tools around D.C. in a midlife-crisis edition Corvette, the fact that 60 Minutes doesn't speak to anyone else in the report.

It should be noted that while Rodriguez, who retired from the CIA in 2008, walks around a free man, John Kiriakou, another former CIA analyst who led the raid to capture Abu Zubaydah, was indicted for violating the Espionage Act for allegedly leaking information to reporters. Kiriakou happens to believe that waterboarding is a form of torture.