Here we were, all worried that Jets backup quarterback/meme generator/sandwich Tim Tebow would have trouble acclimating to the foul-mouthed heathen culture of the Tri-State area, and it turns out we had nothing to be nervous about: according to the Times, Tebow's ancestors were actually FROM New Jersey! Let's be specific: Tebow appears to be the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson of a man from Hackensack.
Dean Enderlin is the amateur genealogist who made the discovery—he also happens to be Tebow’s fourth cousin, once removed. “One characteristic in our family is a prominent nose,” he told the Times. “Tim may think otherwise, but his distant cousins see it. We vote thumbs up. He’s got the Tebow nose.” His environment growing up may have been very different—he was born to Christian missionaries in the Philippines, raised in Florida, and he preached from his pocket pew in Denver before last week—but Tebow must have a little bit of Chris Christie somewhere inside him. Perhaps spending some quality time with Rex Ryan will prove more eyeopening than he could imagine.
Or perhaps it'll take more quality time with Mark Sanchez—according to the Post, Tebow is seriously considering renting a cottage in the same NJ golf-course community where Sanchez lives. Jeez, first he wants his job, now he wants his house—next thing you know, Tebow will be coveting Sanchez's wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey!
