Earlier this week, we were pretty shocked/saddened to learn that the Department of Education had made up a list of words that were no longer acceptable for city-issued standardized tests. Y'know, words like birthday, poverty and dinosaurs. Then we got a look at the full list, below, and our response turned to horror. Cancer? Bodily functions? Homelessness? Ugh.
Luckily, lots of people are pissed about the list too. Including Staten Island Republican Assemblyman Lou Tobacco, whose last name would also not be allowed on those tests since it can also refer to cigarettes or smoking paraphernalia, which is also verboten. "This is a clear example of the hyper-sensitivity that exists in our city and state's ivory towers of education, and it shows how out-of-touch these career bureaucrats are with the communities they serve," Tobacco said in a release. "This is a foolish policy that will ultimately hurt teachers' abilities to expand their students' vocabularies and understanding of human history."
The DOE's logic is that while “some of these topics may be perfectly acceptable in other contexts" they "do not belong in a city- or state-wide assessment." Uh, sure. We can't imagine a context in which an assessment of a student might need to deal with words like politics, nuclear weapons, death and disease. "Homes with swimming pools," though? Screw those people.
Anyway, here's the full list for your entertainment. Fun project? Write an five paragraph essay that uses all of them!
- Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological)
- Alcohol (beer and liquor), tobacco, or drugs
- Birthday celebrations (and birthdays)
- Bodily functions
- Cancer (and other diseases)
- Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes)
- Celebrities
- Children dealing with serious issues
- Cigarettes (and other smoking paraphernalia)
- Computers in the home (acceptable in a school or library setting)
- Crime
- Death and disease
- Divorce
- Evolution
- Expensive gifts, vacations, and prizes
- Gambling involving money
- Halloween
- Homelessness
- Homes with swimming pools
- Hunting
- Junk food
- In-depth discussions of sports that require prior knowledge
- Loss of employment
- Nuclear weapons
- Occult topics (i.e. fortune-telling)
- Parapsychology
- Politics
- Pornography
- Poverty
- Rap Music
- Religion
- Religious holidays and festivals (including but not limited to Christmas, Yom Kippur, and Ramadan)
- Rock-and-Roll music
- Running away
- Sex
- Slavery
- Terrorism
- Television and video games (excessive use)
- Traumatic material (including material that may be particularly upsetting such as animal shelters)
- Vermin (rats and roaches)
- Violence
- War and bloodshed
- Weapons (guns, knives, etc.)
- Witchcraft, sorcery, etc.
