There are a lot of things that Reddit is good for, but our favorite feature continues to be the regular Ask Me Anything's the site hosts. How else would we learn about the inner lives of subway conductors, McDonald's employees, EMTs, and astrophysicists? Exactly. And today Reddit's got another good 'un: an AMA with a 26-year-old taxi driver. And yes, your driver knows you are having sex back there—that's why he keeps hitting potholes.
The driver (who says he was "raised in the USA" but also spells favorite with a u and mentions going to "four year university") doesn't own a medallion, mostly works the night shift and is chock full of interesting anecdotes. Here are some that stood out to us:
Has he seen sexy times in his cab? "Yes many times. Sometimes they even ask. To which I usually just reply really? Because the cars NEVER get cleaned. They're filthy. I've also had a girl masturbate in the backseat while her friend was very embarrassed.
I usually try to hit as many potholes when I know a blow job is going on in the back. It's always funny then you arrive at the destination and there early was not enough time for completion and the guy gets out of the car with a boner."
Does he think cyclists in the city are "as much of an issue/annoyance as Premium Rush would have people believe?" "Not really. The most annoying cyclists are the just regular cyclists. The couriers know what they're doing.
As for regular cyclists and drivers in general. They're both assholes to each other in the most biased way possible and need to lighten up. And stop acting so entitled. Both do. That would probably prevent more accidents and be better for everyone"
So, what kind of dough does a hack make? "On a bad night I make about 250 for myself. On a really good night about 500. On average about 350-400. This is working a full twelve hours. And most drivers don't make this because they're either lazy or don't know what they're doing. Finding the passengers late at night is the real work." But there is big money in out-of-town trips: "I went to Delaware for a total of 800. I also had new haven Connecticut and bright waters Long Island in one night which I made about a thousand. That was probably my luckiest nights."
Has he had any interesting conversations? Yes. "I've had a lot of interesting conversations and met interesting people but I don't think I can single one thing out.
I like food and restaurants a lot. And fashion. So conversations with people regarding that are always good. But these are people I normally associate with in regular life.
However I meet a lot of people I normally do not associate with :
I picked up a pimp in the upper west side around 3 am on a weekday. He paid me 60 bucks to drive him around the Bronx so he could collect money from his girls. And he told his life story. That was pretty interesting.
Also I've picked up a lot of escorts and they're pretty open with me about their business.
I once picked up a kid who was on the phone trying to sell some handguns he was carrying in his backpack. I told the cops who were sitting around the corner from where I dropped him off. I don't know what happened after that.
Also I've had some guy invite me into his house and he made me a burger. Our convo was about burgers and he was insisting he made the best."
Wait, how was that burger? "It was pretty good but def not among the best in the city. If you like burgers you should check out diner in Williamsburg or dumont burger. The lamb burger at Breslin in the ace hotel is phenomenal as well."
As for other food tips? He recommends "Di fara in midwood" for pizza. But not the Indian in Curry Hill: "They're all disgusting. I would check out masala times for cheap good clean Indian food. It's on bleecker street near 6th ave and open until 3 usually and 5 on Friday and Saturday."
Has he had celebrities in his car? "I've had a bunch. Tina Fey, Zach Galifanakas, Alan cumming, two main characters from gossip girl - chuck bass and blaire. And two side characters from that show as well."
He ever been offered any unconventional tips? "Not that often. Usually the only thing I've been offered is sexual favors in exchange for rides. It's happened probably 5-6 times. By both guys and girls. I haven't taken anyone up on the offer.
That being said I've been tipped in ways other than cash. Someone invited me into their family house after taking them to westchester and ordered Chinese food. He paid me extra to stay and eat with his family because he also wanted a ride back to the city with me. One night I someone gave me half a Peter Lugers steak. That same night I got another really fancy meal but I don't remember from where. I've gotten CDs from musicians. That happens all the time. And a couple of times a girls phone number."
Speaking of tips, what does he think is a fair tip? "I guess if you want a percentage 20 percent is cool. But from my standpoint and having been driving around for a bit I think tipping should be based on the the length of time during a ride. Time is much more valuable to a cab driver than the metered fare. Typically as a driver you want to be averaging a dollar a minute. Some rides get 3-4 dollars a minute even more. And some get 50 cents a minute. Then they get 50 cents a minute you're really losing money. So I guess take that into account. Also if you're going to an outerborough or a remote location realise that the cab driver might not get a fare for a while so take that into account as well."
And here's a pretty bad excuse for not tipping?"I once had a passenger that Wanted to go to Starbucks 4 street blocks away. The fare was about 5 bucks. He said he couldn't tip me because he was out of work at the moment."
Finally, he sums up Williamsburg in a nutshell. "I once had a girl who must of been in her mid twenties. I picked up in east village and was driving to Williamsburg. This was during the weekday at about 4 am. She was on the phone with her father who was in California. She was calling because she finally narrowed down what she wanted to do in her life and had trouble deciding. A children's art therapist or a sea lion trainer. She sounded like a little kid."
