It turns out that dignity isn't the only thing lost at TSA screening checkpoints. The Daily News reports that in 2010 the agency made $409,000 in loose change left behind by hurried, worn down travelers. Specifically, $376,480 in US currency and another $32,605 in foreign coins. JFK collected the most, with $46,918. "I wish they would spend that money on mood lighting," comedian Dave Hill told the paper. "If I'm going to get additional screening, how about throwing in a little more romance." Ha ha, he's referring to alleged sexual assault committed by government agents trusted to protect us, get it?
"TSA makes every effort to reunite passengers with items that they leave at checkpoints, however there are instances where loose change or other items are left behind," TSA spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein says. It's unclear how much the availability of Funyuns in the breakroom vending machine affects this policy.
Congress approved the TSA using the money for its "general security operations" in 2005, but it's not in their budget planning. "It's unknown from year to year, but everybody likes to have pocket change," Farbstein says. Almost as much as they like to board the cramped, fetid confines of an airplane they paid $500 to ride without being subjected to pointless, cancer-causing, humiliating security theater.
