Do you need a late Tuesday afternoon LOL? Then read Ryan Holiday's post on Forbes about how Planned Parenthood turned down a $500,000 donation from the infamous Tucker Max. The donation was contingent on naming a clinic in Texas after Max, who recently Tweeted (and deleted), "In South Florida. This place is awful. Shitty design, slutty whores & no culture, like a giant Planned Parenthood waiting room." And for some reason Max and his media consultant Holiday are shocked about the turn of events. Maybe they were shocked in a Captain Renault way.

Holiday, who is also a consultant to American Apparel's Dov Charney, explains that Max wanted to donate some money to charity to reduce his tax burden, so Holiday suggested, "What if you gave a bunch of money to Planned Parenthood and they named a clinic after you? They need donors, it’d be awesome and you’d get a ton of positive press out of it for a change." At first, a Dallas Planned Parenthood chapter was allegedly interested and things escalated to the point where Max was about to meet the chapter's CEO, but then Planned Parenthood realized it might be stepping into a beer-in-hell-style trap and decided to end talks. Did they see this Tweet from last year?

Per Holiday, "As a marketer, it was one of the stupidest and most depressing things I’ve ever seen. This would have been a win-win-win-win situation. Cut a check, keep a clinic open. Rehabilitate some of Tucker’s PR. Reduce a tax burden. Encourage other donors. And most importantly: Help women keep access to vital reproductive services. But nope. So I tell this story not simply to call out Planned Parenthood—though they deserve it and more. Tucker wasn’t trying to make a fool of them with the donation I set up, but they acted like one anyway."

Of course, Planned Parenthood would probably have lost something—Feministe's Jill Filipovic points out, "Trying to bolster the career of a misogynist narcissist at the expense of an organization that is already teetering on the brink, and then crying foul — and attempting a public shaming- when the organization protects itself so that it can continue to provide much-needed help to people who need more fundamental assistance than a new image and a tax break? That’s disgusting and transparently self-serving. And doesn’t do much to counter the perception that Tucker Max and his team are, in fact, a bunch of total fucking shitbags."

Planned Parenthood said in a statement, "We appreciate the generosity of our supporters, and take seriously our role as financial stewards of contributions, grants, and government funding. Like many nonprofits, Planned Parenthood reserves the right to decline offers of gifts and grants that may be discriminatory, are for purposes outside of our mission, or are too difficult to administer."

Holiday also writes, "Planned Parenthood did to Tucker exactly what the Susan G. Komen Foundation had done to Planned Parenthood. Let perception and moral superiority and BS politics get in the way of their real mission of helping people in need." Of course, Komen was founded to spread awareness and prevention of breast cancer, creating a multi-billion-dollar fundraising operation, with many donations coming from people who believe that Komen's mission is to help fund women's health initiatives, especially in places where those facilities aren't as available. While Max's life mission is to be an asshole.