According to multiple sources, the Jets have traded a draft pick to acquire ultra-religious young quarterback/meme generator/metaphor Tim Tebow from the Denver Broncos. According to USA Today, the Jets are getting Tebow and the Broncos' seventh-round pick for a fourth- and sixth-round choice. And that sound you can hear in the far-off distance is Mark Sanchez weeping.
This trade comes only a week after the Jets gave Sanchez a three-year, $40 million+ contract extension following three high profile seasons of utter mediocrity. Around The League's Greg Rosenthal sums up how unlikely this move had seemed: "If you had predicted this sequence of events just two months ago, your friends might stop talking to you. As a resident of New York City and a student of the back page tabloids, this is all so delicious; I can barely believe it's true." Drew Magary put the ridiculousness of the trade into perspective: "Why have one delightfully amateurish QB when you can have two?"
Despite being one of the worst statistical quarterbacks in the league, Tebow led the Broncos to several improbable fourth-quarter comebacks last season, as well as a playoff victory against the heavily-favored Pittsburgh Steelers. But he was also a proselytizing lightening rod for controversy, with a penchant for mentioning Jesus in every other sentence that came out of his mouth. He inspired a torrent of think pieces which underlined an important—if completely batshit—point: there are people out there who really truly believe God cares about football games.
There are so many questions that come with Tebow: will he get along with the fantastically profane Rex Ryan? Will his presence divide the Jets locker room between Sanchez supporters and Tebownites? Will he be embraced by fans here? Will he be spit out and rejected by the intense NY media? Keith Olbermann thinks so: "Did Tebow pray for punishment of the heathens of New York? #CuzWeJustGotPunished." And how will Tebow react in a city where Atheist billboards go up every other month?
One thing is for certain: if the Jets wants to get rid of the "circus" atmosphere that plagued them last season (and led to their locker room implosion), this is NOT going to do the trick. He'll definitely see playing time with the wildcat formation. But it really feels like only a matter of time before Sanchez messes up, and the fans demand to see Tebow start. And then perhaps we'll get to see some of this:
Oh, Borowitz Report points out that one other thing is certain: "BREAKING: Tebow Looking Forward to Meeting First Jew."
