There's stepping, junk-grabbing, and surreal little inflatables on the High Line, but the idyllic stretch of grass in the sky lacks an essential New York City element: crime. According to the Times, there has not been a single report of a serious crime on the High Line since its opening. The Parks Enforcement Patrol have written 362 summonses for "quality-of-life infractions" such as having dogs or bicycles, and the most common is for drinking. Since it's almost impossible to get a smoking ticket on the High Line, can we replace smoking infractions with tickets for excessive PDA?

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly attributes the safety of the park in part to the amount of surveillance cameras in the area, and the fact that there are a limited number of entryways that are locked at 11 p.m.: "This is a much more controllable space. You know who's going in and who's coming out." A founder of Friends of the High Line tells the paper that "Empty parks are dangerous. Busy parks are much less so. You're virtually never alone on the High Line." This is especially true given the proximity of buildings and therefore watchful eyes to the park, some "seem close enough to high-five someone inside." Or a disapproving look as your dog does its business.

So far the NYPD has received a total of two complaints from the High Line, one for staircase graffiti and the other for a lost wallet. Trespassing "is rare" and "is usually somebody dropping in from an adjacent building." What kind of monster would do such a thing?