St. Patrick's Cathedral was "standing-room-only" yesterday at a thanksgiving mass led by Cardinal Egan celebrating the beatification of Pope John Paul II, the Daily News reports. Several New Yorkers in attendance were quoted as saying that "he deserved to be a saint," and that "it's a very cool thing--he was a very spiritual man." We assume the Vatican's HR department would screen out all of those "non-spiritual" papal applications (notable exception: Pope Dwayne "Boogie" Williams, also known as "The Surfer Pope" of the 12th century).
But not so fast! Pope Benedict only beatified John Paul, which is the third step in the canonization process, for those of you who haven't been emotionally scarred by years of Catholic schooling. John Paul was the first non-Italian pope in eons, was the first to visit a mosque and a synagogue, and forgave the guy who shot him. He was even a prolific "saint-maker," something the current pope wasn't happy with a few years ago. What could possibly keep him from becoming a saint? Nothing says "postpone the doves" like shielding pedophiles behind a wall of willful ignorance and horrific indifference.
Mary Caplan, a director of the New York City chapter of Survivors Network of Those Abused By Priests protested the mass yesterday with literature calling the beatification "hasty." "He did nothing, really, to protect victims of child abuse," she said. Yeah but...he hated communism and Nazis! In related news, Pope Benedict fired an Australian bishop today for suggesting that the church ordain women. Women! As if they could ever molest as many children as men.
