One Manhattan judge is going to have a hell of a weird day in the next few weeks, having decided there's no way to make a ruling regarding the fate of a former Stuyvesant High librarian/suspected cannibal conspirator without watching a twisted torture video collected as possible evidence.

Perhaps you'll recall the case of Christopher Asch, who started out as a run-of-the-mill suspected creep for whispering in the ears of students during his time as a Stuyvesant librarian in 2009, but was last April arrested on charges of conspiring to "kidnap, torture, rape and kill women and children." The question for Manhattan federal Judge Paul Gardephe is whether Asch and his alleged co-conspirator, Richard Meltz, actually planned to carry out their gruesome, detailed plan.

As such, the Post reports that Gardephe has assigned himself the grim task of viewing a video collected from Asch's home, called Pain 35, to determine whether authorities can use it as evidence during the February 24 trial.

“I read the government’s description, and I will need to look at the video before I can rule on it,” Gardephe said.

(With sweaty palms and one eye shut, I reluctantly googled "Pain 35" and I am so, so relieved to report that the results—however cursory—turned up nothing in the Torture Porn family. Just a lot pregnant women experiencing "sharp, stabbing, horrible abdominal pain at 35 weeks." Which, OK, also sounds atrocious.)

According to Downtown Express, Pain 35 depicts "two nearly naked women being tortured with heinous items, including nipple clamps, a leg spreader, a riding crop, rope, handcuffs and needles." The FBI apparently believes the women are not actors, and are actually in pain.

Vaya con dios, Judge Gardephe.