Obama's mildly arousing speech at the Democratic National Convention last night has been followed by the sad trombone of the August employment report, which failed to live up to expectations. The nationwide unemployment rate fell to 8.1 percent from 8.3 percent in July, but that's just because the government doesn't count people who've been futilely looking for a job for so long that they've now given up to devote their time to volunteer work commenting on websites.

U.S. employers added 96,000 jobs last month, but cut 15,000 manufacturing jobs (the Daily Beast blames this on a "statistical quirk"). Worse, the Labor Department also revised downward the hiring report from previous months. 41,000 fewer jobs were created in July and June than initially estimated, and there have been just 139,000 jobs a month added since the start of the year, below 2011's average of 153,000.

12.5 million Americans remain unemployed—again, that doesn't include those who've stopped looking. The number of people in the work force dropped to its lowest level in 31 years, and hourly pay also fell. Have you given your employer a box of chocolate and a foot massage lately? Would a happy ending really kill you?

To be sure, it's not all depressing news. According to the Labor Department, employment increased in restaurants, catering, and bars; in professional and technical services; and in health care. Rich people still need to wine and dine, and sometimes they need help fixing their new iPads, or a sponge bath when they're hospitalized recovering from plastic surgery. "There's no sign of momentum fading," Jim O'Sullivan, chief U.S. economist at High Frequency Economics, told the AP. "That said, it's not much better. ... What you're left with is an economy that's still growing, but pretty modestly."

Of course, what's bad for America is good for Mitt Romney, who immediately released a statement saying, "After 43 straight months of unemployment above 8 percent, it is clear that President Obama just hasn't lived up to his promises and his policies haven't worked. We aren't better off than they were four years ago. My plan for a stronger middle class will create 12 million new jobs by the end of my first term. America deserves new leadership that will get our economy moving again." There he goes again.

The Obama administration countered with this statement, saying, "While there is more work that remains to be done, today’s employment report provides further evidence that the U.S. economy is continuing to recover from the worst downturn since the Great Depression. It is critical that we continue the policies that are building an economy that works for the middle class as we dig our way out of the deep hole that was caused by the severe recession that began in December 2007."