There's never a good time in a courtship to reveal that you were once convicted for your very nuanced, very graphic plot to kill and eat women. But exonerated "Cannibal Cop" Gilberto Valle is a spry, 30-year-old recent divorcee, and with his legal woes behind him and a new career on the horizon, it's time to get back on the dating wagon. Of course the New York Post thinks they've found his Match.com profile.
Using the handle "AmicableOne14," which is so close to being an anagram for "cannibal" it hurts, Valle attempts to paint himself as just a normal guy—a guy who has made some mistakes, perhaps, but one who's optimistic about the future and wants to find a nice lady to share it with. Valle likes going to the dog park, enjoys bars in which you don't have to shout, and tries to watch Jeopardy every night!
But it's hard not to read too closely—if one of his greatest attributes is "determination," could that mean he's...determined to succeed in carrying out his plot to kill and eat women? His favorite hobbies include cooking, and his sexual preferences err on the side of "a little kinky." Occasionally, he says, he needs a day indoors by himself, because when else will he...you get the point.
Valle told the Post he 'doesn't know anything' about the profile, but if it's a hoax, its creator is either doing him a huge favor or has no idea what it means to properly prank someone.
TV news producers obviously find Valle's renewed attempts at living a normal life perfectly hilarious. Oh my:
Valle served a year in jail and was released in July, after a judge overturned his conviction.
