Walking the streets New Year's Day, we saw the usual uptick of mysterious feces placement and garbage crammed into the baskets of parked bicycles, but one soul stumbled on something last Thursday that was much…bigger.
MyBlockNYC user nicholaskokkinis did what every noble New Yorker would do and picked up a mop and a squeegee took video, because a story about the "huge steaming pile of vomit I just saw" doesn't strike fear into the soul like photos do. He writes:
A Puddle of vomit the size of a kiddie pool. You can tell it was one shot by the shape. Even hit the car across the street. A friendly stranger enters the frame for comparison...Welcome Home huh New York. Great smells.
"One shot"? Really? While we consult NYU's distinguished professor of Projectile Regurgitation, check out this poem Lord Byron wrote in 1815. It's shockingly apt.
She [A Ginormous Pile Of Vomit] Sits In Beauty
She sits in beauty, like the cheeseburgers wrapped so tight
in wax paper that I devoured, with Boones Farm and french fries.
And all that's best of New Year's night
Meets my blurry, twitching eyes:
Oh, mechanical bull, bright street light
you're going to make me puke a river into the fucking gutter, oh god, oh god.
