Over the past year, acclaimed traffic engineer Sam Schwartz has been pitching a form of congestion pricing that would lower the tolls on bridges uptown and charge cars traveling the Queensboro, Williamsburg, Manhattan, and Brooklyn bridges $7 ($5 with E-ZPass). The former traffic commissioner also wants to impose a surcharge on yellow and livery cabs heading over those bridges. This "congestion pricing" (or "Mucous Mulct," as we prefer to call it) would raise $1.2 billion annually. But part of that money would come from a 50-cent toll on cyclists crossing those bridges into Manhattan.

"I'm asking the bike riders to pay 50 cents each way to use the bridges coming into our Central Business District," Schwartz tells CBS. The outlet touts this sort of "fairness" as a "selling point," but why treat a hunk of metal weighing thousands of pounds and burning fossil fuel the same as a silent, clean bicycle to spare drivers' feelings?

Wouldn't the real incentive to ditch the jalopy be that cyclists ride for free? And charging cyclists tolls means that they need an E-ZPass option as well, opening the door for a compulsory bike registration program. If there's one thing New York City needs, it's more methods of tracking its citizens.

The Times' Bill Keller points out that Schwartz's plan calls for "graceful new bike-pedestrian bridges connecting the gentrified waterfront neighborhoods of Brooklyn, Queens and New Jersey to Manhattan," but the details of the plan haven't been vetted by the media or the mayor.

“It is definitely vital that we figure out how we’re going to fund transit for the long term," deputy mayor Cas Halloway told CBS. "It’s the only way New York City is going to stay competitive." Right now MTA users are bracing themselves for multiple fare hikes in the future and seeing services cut or maintain their subpar status. Meanwhile, a five-axle truck headed to New Jersey can avoid a $70 toll over the Verrazano Bridge by cutting through Lower Manhattan.