New York City has Pearl the Squirrel to better illustrate the Parks Department's goals, and our personal favorite, Warmy, to ease us through the pothole-filling process. But what mascot should the Gowanus have during its cleanup? "The cleanup will be long, boring and probably disgusting, so we want to make sure people are aware of what's going on in an easy and fun way," Gowanus Community Advisory Group member Eymund Diegel told the Post. How much would rights for the Trojan Man cost?
Besides a few mussels, jellyfish, and few other unsung "spokescreatures," the animals in the running for the mascot are Muck the Shark (killed by the NYPD in 1950), Sludgie the Whale (killed by the Gowanus in 2007), Gowanda the Seal (miraculously survived) and GoGo the Muskrat.
We dig GoGo the most, because you probably don't want to have a deceased animal (especially a zombie shark with bullet holes—paging Deep Blue Sea producers) as a mascot of hope, and because the muskrat's "presence means the canal is getting cleaner and can support a broader range of wildlife." No EPA funds will be used in the creation of the mascot, presumably to preempt the amount of "not with my tax dollars, except if its the police!" pollution created by internet commenters.
But perhaps the city and the federal government should come to terms with how much the former is due to pay for the cleanup before a mascot is chosen. Maybe "Cranky, the Stingy Crab?"
