We receive a lot of e-mail. Most of these missives are carefully read, discussed at length among the editors, and courteously replied to in a timely fashion—except for the ones that are so bizarre and irrelevant that we're simply afraid to engage the sender. Instead, we'll share them with you. Behold, the eccentric underbelly of the Gothamist inbox:
Normally "No Subject" in an email line means that the user has chosen not to enter anything into the subject field. However, this reader's computer seems to have a state-of-the-art application that analyzes the text of the email and determines that indeed, the email has absolutely no substance whatsoever:
I have found out who has that d guy he had the same car but he was messing with sug knights ex wife and look was he african american because ? They said that each assient was and he had special amor picering amo only spiceal law in force ment had that and also why did cops show up so fast and let the assient get away aressting them first and they told them what hapen but they wouldent listen put csi on the crime nypd no more than that
In all fairness, it may be Thomas Pynchon. We've heard he loves most of Death Row's catalogue.
Another reader, taking issue with our linking to a statement that Andrew Brietbart regretted leaking Anthony Weiner's full-frontal shot, tells us:
You’re a vile person to try to make the messenger the bad guy instead of the guys who published the photo or, worse, the guy who sent his crotch shot out in the first place. Such a sorry excuse for a blogger.
This is true. We had no idea that Brietbart had actually been working at a soup kitchen all day before he was scheduled to pull up land mines in Angola with his bare hands. It's regrettable that we confused this Andrew Brietbart with the other Andrew Brietbart who has made a career of taking words out of context and who is STILL moaning about how "team Clinton operates," so he can be the star of the Summer 2015 blockbuster Atlas Shrugged Part Six: Still Shruggin'.
Another reader really, really dislikes New York City because we give tickets to people who eat donuts in playgrounds.
This story is just one more reason (amongst millions) why I personally would never consider living (or even visiting) within about 1000 miles of New York City. Time to track down the mindless bureaucrat that imposed that rule and get him or her fired for performing his or her duty far beyond the call of duty (or sanity).
And yet you cannot help but read a blog dedicated to the greatness of New York City. THAT'S the power of this town. This may say something about the duality of man, but probably he just likes to look at food porn (and porn porn).
Finally, the question that's on everyone's mind:
Whats the easiest way to Fuck a girl?
First, comment on as many blog posts as humanly possible—the more CAPS and exclamation points the better. It doesn't matter if your comments make sense, or if you just choose a turn of phrase or something else pointless to criticize mercilessly: whoever wrote it is an idiot. After a few years of this, your skin should be completely translucent (chicks dig translucent) and your eyes will be milky and atrophied from staring at a computer every waking second of the day: now you're ready for prime time. Hopefully you have spent time practicing kissing (we recommend using a small cheese grater because girls have icky scaley tongues) because you'll be copping a feel on the High Line in no time.
