Not to generalize, but private schools around NYC are intense places filled with slightly unhinged people—some schools make 9th graders write suicide notes for homework, others raise money by shaming rejected kids,, and all of them are ridiculously expensive. So it's not really that shocking to learn that some elite private schools have begun enlisting parents to spy on other prospective parents. Is there anyone in this country not spying on someone?
According to the Post, schools like Columbia Grammar, Mandell, Collegiate and Episcopal have long used tour guides and assistant teachers to vet parents during school trips. But with parents getting clued into the tactics, the schools have had to change things up by getting other parents to judge each other. It's just like The Americans, only much less sexy.
"At a certain point a mom spilled that she had been asked to go on the tours and watch how the prospective parents behaved, and then it got out that it was a common thing," private-school mom and social researcher Wednesday Martin told the Post. "If you see a school parent on a school tour but she’s not conducting the tour, just ‘coming along,’ shut up and don’t check your cell!"
And a lot of parents are up to the task of being “admission volunteers” because they get the perk of being an insider. "You get to know admissions staff and when your friends apply, you can put in a good word," said Amanda Uhry of Manhattan Private School Advisors.
"The main thing to remember is that your kid isn’t going to mess up the process," Terri Decker of Smart City Kids. "You’re going to mess up the process by being a jerk. People forget that this isn’t buying a car, you can’t come in there and kick the tires." So at the end of the day, if your kid doesn't get into Dalton or wherever, it's likely because you spent 15 minutes on the phone arguing with your interior decorator about yoga techniques during a school tour.
