Engineers who designed the 7 line extension that's currently under construction may think they've thought of everything, but those eggheads obviously haven't met MTA Board member Charles Moerdler. The $2 billion project is expected to be completed in 2015—that is if the ELECTRIC EELS don't destroy it first.
In an alarming interview with DNAinfo, Moerdler recalled that when he was an attorney representing the Javits Center construction, he had to persuade the city's Board of Standards and Appeals to grant a special waiver allowing it to use plastic instead of metal pipes. Why? Electric eels, dude.
"When the tide washed in, the electric eels would come in alongside the area where the convention center was and that they could cause havoc with any brass, copper or iron piping because they discharge electricity," Moerdler told DNAinfo. "It was the first and only time in the City of New York where plastic plumbing was authorized. They said, you can't take that chance. If you have the pipes underneath the convention center suddenly get charged, you've got a big problem."
And yet, the MTA wants us to believe that electric eels are not a threat to subway system. But if that's the case, the MTA would have turned the whole thing into a fun flume ride a long time ago. Sure, ONE GUY who presents himself as an eel expert assures DNAinfo that "there are no electric eels in New York City," but come on—what could be better for the Eel Expert Business than a subway eel infestation? Follow the money. And let's not forget that electric eels have had thousands of years of evolution to prepare for this moment, whereas the MTA has only been working on the 7 train extension for centuries.
An MTA spokesman said there are no plans to use plastic piping to protect the 7 train from electric eels. We guess now's the time to stock up on full-body rubber gimp suits for your future commutes to the west side.
