A dwarf bowling tournament planned for Staten Island bar Big Nose Kate’s has been cancelled after an unidentified scold alerted the media to the event, which was to be hosted Saturday by d-list celebrity dwarf minstrel Beetlejuice (pictured), an occasional guest on the Howard Stern show. In dwarf bowling, players take turns rolling a dwarf (wearing protective gear) on a skateboard down makeshift bowling alleys toward small pins. In exchange for his dignity, the dwarf/bowling ball earns more than $100 an hour, according to Beetlejuice’s co-manager.
As the dwarf tossing craze reached its zenith (or nadir) in the late ‘80s, then-governor Mario Cuomo signed a bill outlawing the activity. Beetlejuice himself was busted when one of his dwarf tossing parties was raided at a Long Island bar in 2002. Now the owner of Big Nose Kate’s has canceled the bowling after local muckraker Tom Wrobleski at the Staten Island Advance filed his report, which was promptly picked up by 1010 Wins and UPI.
Borough President James P. Molinaro was quick to denounce the dwarf bowling with his characteristic understatement: “In a civilized community, we can't say, ‘Let's roll with that. Let me pick a team.’ If we do, the Romans were saints compared to us.” Fittingly, the MySpace page for Big Nose Kate's suggests the bar would fit right in with Nero's Rome: “WE GOT THE GIRLS BLOWING FIRE AND WE MAY BRING BACK THE WATER SHOW!!! AS ALWAYS @ BNK ~ WE WANT ALL THE LADIES ON THE BAR!!!!"
Although he’s no longer hosting the bowling, Beetlejuice, AKA Lester Green, will still be on hand Saturday night. Judging from the website he uses to promote his bachelor party business, Beet is well paid to perform other acts, such as boxing, “being his crazy self” and, well, the photos on his Jolly Dwarf website speak for themselves. (NSFW or safe for anyone prone to depression.)
Photo: The Canon Rattman
