A new book by the Catholic Church's self-proclaimed exorcism expert alleges that Pope Benedict XVI performed an exorcism on two possessed men in St. Peter's Square three years ago. The two men "banged their heads on the ground" waiting for Benedict to work his magic faith. "They were trembling, slobbering, working themselves into a frenzy," Father Gabriele Amorth writes. Hear that, Benedict? Boston needs you.

Father Amorth describes Benedict's role thusly:

"The Pope watched from a distance. He raised an arm and blessed the four of them. For the possessed it was like a furious jolt —a blow to their whole bodies—to the extent that they were thrown three metres backwards. They stopped howling but they cried uncontrollably."

Hmm that sounds suspiciously like The Exorcist, which also happens to be Amorth's favorite movie, according to the Daily News' report.

A spokesman for the Vatican dismisses Amorth's claims, saying the Pope had no idea who the men were and did not perform an exorcism. This makes sense, because his job would be a lot easier if he could.