If you thought the NYPD was rough on stoop-drinkers, it appears they bring in the whole CSI crew to deal with illegal drinking on the inside, as evidenced by the full-scale fingerprint investigation that went down at a Bronx precinct house after a few Budweiser cans were found on the premises. Even the long arm of the law isn't safe from...the long arm of the law.
DNAinfo reports that the illicit beer cans in question were discovered in a wastebasket and refrigerator in a dormitory in the 47th Precinct a couple weeks ago. And since erstwhile Commissioner Ray Kelly banned alcohol on police property during his reign, the Buds sparked a full-on INVESTIGATION, Gil Grissom-style: detectives were interrogated—which, as DNAinfo notes, cut down on all the other police activity in the district— fingerprints were dusted for and DNA samples were taken, hopefully while the funky pling pling of the CSI soundtrack strummed in the background.
According to a Daily News report from around the time of the discovery, a total of four (4) empty beer cans were found in the trash, and a six-pack was stashed in the fridge; nearly 20 detectives were interrogated. "Sounds like an awful lot of energy investigating four empty beer cans in an empty squad room garbage can,’’ Michael Palladino, head of the Detectives Endowment Association, told the tabloid. “No crime was committed, no one was driving and no one was unfit for duty." Oh what? The NYPD, overreact? Never.
The NYPD did not respond to requests for comment, and it appears the Brewpetrator is still at large.
