After a band of anonymous teenagers "accidentally" torched PS 29's playground in Cobble Hill two weeks ago, their well-heeled parents agreed to donate $50,000 to smooth things over. But for some, "you break it, you buy it" does not equate justice. "I don't think it's right to buy your kids out," the Brooklyn Paper quotes one Cobble Hill resident, who is totally lame and COME ON that slide totally burned your butt when it was sunny anyway.
School principal Melanie Woods appreciates the donation, but also feels that the teens should "take responsibility" for their actions and publicly apologize. Taking responsibility for their actions? They won't be doing that until after they move out of their parents house when they finally find a job at 36. Take it away, benevolent attorney for the parents: "[The fund] is a breath of fresh air—people who want to act honorably and responsibly." And you can't spell "honor" without "a-n-o-n-y-m-o-u-s!"
As amusing as the pictures of the neighborhood children gawking at their burned playground are, there should be a new one up by the end of the school year. The fire itself is still being investigated, and once finished "it will be up to the district attorney to pursue legal action." Yeah but what if the parents were to "donate" some "funds" to the DA's "Mercedes-Benz" charity for all the trouble they caused? Justice may be blind, but it doesn't have to be boring!
