Newly elevated Cardinal Timothy Dolan was in top form yesterday, leading a special prayer service a week after being honored in the Vatican. Dolan lifted his red biretta at St. Patrick's Cathedral to attendees including Governor Cuomo and Mayor Bloomberg, "I come from the town of St. Louis that boasts 'This Bud’s For You'—but I say this morning, New York this hat’s for you." WHAT? No St. Louis CARDINALS pun? Do 5,000 Hail Marys now.
He did invoke a higher power: His appetite. Dolan thanked everyone for standing by him, a bumpkin "who arrived three years ago as a rookie, not even aware the difference between corned beef and pastrami."
In the mean time, the Catholic League is still pissed that the Empire State Building isn't going to light up in red in honor of the new Cardinal: "The problem with Cardinal Dolan is that he is not a mass murderer. If he were, he may have been honored the way Mao Zedong was in 2009. Even though Mao murdered 77 million innocent Chinese men, women and children, Anthony Malkin, the owner of the Empire State Building, made sure that on the 60th anniversary of the Communist Revolution, the tower would shine red and yellow." But, hey, at least 1 World Trade Center went red?
