In the most pun-packed story we've read in the NY Post for quite some time, the tabloid giddily reports that "a bagel-brained bandit stuffed a dozen packs of smoked salmon in his pants at a Brooklyn deli—but got schmeared by a couple of workers before he could get out the door, police said yesterday. And now he's the catch of the day at Rikers." Bookmark this link for the corny grandpa in your life! Spoiler alert: By the time the Borough Park Shomrim patrol handed over suspect Sergey Muzlayov to the police, blood was gushing from his head. And so the message is clear: You mess with their lox, you're gonna get creamed.