Sure, some people believe that Osama Bin Laden was shot and killed by Navy SEAL commandos and then dropped into the ocean. These are the same sort of people who believe that Obama was born in Hawaii and deny the fact that Captain Crunch contains microscopic razor blades to cut the roof of your mouth, flooding your bloodstream with addictive "Crunch ions" developed by the Pope's secret lab at Roswell. But one American hero refuses to believe the "reality's" version of events: treasure-hunting explorer Bill Warren, who is planning to travel to the North Arabian Sea to find Bin Laden's corpse and confirm his death once and for all.
Telling TMZ that "I do not trust my government or Obama," Warren says that IF he finds Bin Laden's body they will "photograph and video tape him, then do a DNA test on the ship." Presumably they will also "double kill" Bin Laden in case he's been living amongst the seaweed and porpoises there, and will kill any porpoise wives he's taken in any ensuing standoff. Naturally, a film crew is coming along to document the trip, proving that the lessons of Geraldo Rivera have yet to be learned. However, in this case it's probably best for their cause if they don't find anything at all.
And in a final "HA-HA" to Osama Bin Laden's corpse, which can no longer grasp a sense of finality or justice because it is a corpse, an American flag that flew at Ground Zero will be presented to the crew of the USS Carl Vinson, the ship that chucked Bin Laden's body into the water after a brief ceremony in accordance with Islamic tradition. Presenting the flag will be a retired Brooklyn firefighter who "toiled on the pile at Ground Zero," and whose son is returning from duty on the ship.
