Infamous Brooklyn Kitten Punter Andre Robinson has turned down a deal for just 30 days in jail on the basis that he never "kicked" the cat. What?
Despite damning evidence to the contrary, Andre Robinson's attorney, Risa Procton, has argued that her client never kicked the cat. “You keep saying it’s a kick, it’s not a kick. That’s a misrepresentation,” she said. To "kick" is to "strike or propel forcibly with the foot." Here's the video—warning, it's horrible:
So...what was it? A jab, Procton insists. (Definition: to poke). And moreover: “One physical action by my client does not show intent to cause physical injury,” she further argued, a sentence that, decontextualized, could exonerate a fair number of history's criminals.
A better defense would be that the cat was not actually an animal, but a cat-shaped bean bag procured for the purposes of this elaborate hoax. The injured animal was later planted nearby to draw attention to the plight of the city's many strays, a clever guerilla marketing ruse to draw attention to the importance of spaying and neutering your pets. Andre for President!
The cat, since named King, recovered from his injuries and was later adopted.
