Real life Fail Whales are sad :( Newsday (subscription only) reports that a juvenile humpback whale has been beached in East Hampton since early this morning, and "appears weak, underweight, and probably can't be saved." Officials have said, "There's not much we can do. The whale looks thin to us, and we think it will die." The whale weighs more than a ton, which made it dangerous for rescuers to move it back into the water, where they believe it would just drown anyway. ABC Local News reports from the scene, saying the 25-footer is probably less than a year old and was likely separated from his mother; whales nurse for the first two years of their lives and can't survive on their own during that time.