Were you worried about the economy? Afraid that you aren't making enough money? Hate your job? Why would you ever feel that way? Anyway, it's time to relax. First-quarter earnings for 2014 are out, and banks are making money again, finally.
There's a lot of triumphant verbiage in the headlines—and let us be the first to offer congratulations—with Goldman Sachs "beating" analysts' estimates, Morgan Stanley's income getting "boosted" 18% Citigroup's profits "unexpectedly rising" to $3.94 billion, Bank of America "hurt" by $6 billion in legal expenses (preach!) , and 6 firms "hit with subpoenas" over high frequency trading. What a quarter, everybody.
But none of those quaint banks have anything on the prestigious private equity corporation Blackstone, whose first quarter net income rose 58% to $1.53 billion!
This heartening data comes a week after the NASDAQ and DOW stock markets plunged, "dragged" down by depressing biotechnology stocks. The market is like a rubber band, designed to expand and contract. Surely the news of a healthy finance sector will restore investor optimism in light of reports of panicked skepticism from tech investors. How could you be afraid that bubble is gonna burst just because the Candy Crush IPO isn't holding up? Bubbles are the playthings of children! A rising tide lifts all ships.
