You've given up on those youthful indiscretions of yore—those beefy five-layer burritos warming your lap through the bag. Furtive Meximelts with the yearbook staff after school. The way Cinni Twists tasted in the rain. No, you're a grown-up now. You're with Chipotle. You have a job with a cubicle and people occasionally leave you messages and—wait, Taco Bell? Is, is that you? Kind of: meet Cantina Bell, the chain's Chipotle-slaying new menu of only the "freshest" burritos and burrito bowls.
Taco Bell tapped Top Chef contestant Lorena Garcia to help develop the menu. Here she is making one of her creations in the most manic way possible, in what appears to be marketing-speak for how swiftly T-Bell is willing to change for you, baby. Watch Garcia rip those herbs out of that tiny pot as if to say, "You see this fistful of actual plants, Chipotle? We are not fucking around."
Indeed, the press release lists the actual ingredients of the new menu items, which include: beans (not bean-tasting products!), cilantro rice (with "cilantro seasoning!"), citrus and herb marinated chicken (it was once a live chicken!), and a "New Guacamole" with Hass avocados, which account for 80% of the avocado crop in the U.S.
Chicken and Veggie Cantina Burritos will cost $4.79 (Steak is an unsettling 20 cents more), so a tad more than you may be used to spending at T-Bell. But it's at least $3 cheaper than Chipotle. We've girded our GI tracts for the launch on July 5—would you eat this new Taco Bell? If it helps, this new menu is backed by a "guarantee: if consumers don’t love it, Taco Bell will replace it."
