A verdict could be reached as early as TODAY in the sensational trial of an Upper West Side amateur opera singer accused of slapping a prominent physician during a spat last January in the frozen food section of a Trader Joe's on Broadway and 72nd. The fracas began when singer and grade school teacher Marcella Caprario's husband was blocked by Dr. Cathleen London teenage son as he tried to obtain his wife's beloved frozen vegan pad thai. Yesterday the teen, the singer, the doctor and the husband all testified, and the nasty insults volleyed from the witness stand may have irreparably damaged the Upper West Side's sterling reputation for civility and patient understanding.
Caprario's husband Bill testified that London's teenage son blocked him from the pad thai, at which point he made a comment to his wife about rude New York teenagers. But the teen testified yesterday that Bill overreacted, and was just bitter because a younger, more agile competitor beat him to the pad thai. "He happened to get there a second after I got there," the teen explained. "He started saying I was pushing him. That's when I responded, 'That's a neat trick, since I was behind a pole.' "
At this point, London stepped in and sparks flew between the women. In testimony yesterday, London described Caprario as a "screaming banshee," and said she shrieked, "You bitch! You fucking bitch!" London testified, "She was very agitated. Very awful... She told me to back the fuck off or I'm going to hurt you. I felt threatened. I'm a mom. I was protecting my children."
And so London refused to back the fuck off, allegedly telling Caprario's husband to "get the pole out of his ass." (Bill described London as "demonic" during his turn on the stand.) For her part, Caprario testified, "After she rushed at me, she began making grimaces and moving her head in a strange, animal-like manner." And every amateur opera singer knows that strange animals only respond to one thing: physical force. Caprario smacked London so hard she says her ears rang, but her lawyer asserts it was justified: "Dr. London was acting in a smug, arrogant and obnoxious manner... so she could cut the line to get to the frozen food."
Closing arguments are set for 10:30 a.m. today in the jury-less trial.
