It's hard to know what we'll have to drink away most this summer—is it the humidity? The rain? The Man O' War stings that feel like someone's plunging a hot sword into your shin? Either way, Summer 2015's shaping up into something best experienced through a booze-induced stupor, and the BEST way to challenge your liver in the heat is to digest that alcohol in sugar-ed up slush form. Here are our favorite frozen drinks in the city; as always, leave yours in the comments.
PIÑA COLADA AT JOHNNY'S REEF: We're taking another crack at blowing up City Island's spot this week, having already extolled its virtues in our Best Outdoor Escapes post. Sorry, clamdiggers! The $6 piña colada served up at this City Island seafood joint is well worth a write-up, cheapness aside—it's a basic drink, whipped up with a special house mix and a whole lot of Bacardi, but it'll smooth out that long ride back on the 4 train. Imbibe at the bar's outdoor patio so you can pair your boozing with a stellar view of the Long Island Sound.
Johnny's Reef is located at 2 City Island Avenue on City Island in the Bronx (718-885-2086, johnnysreefrestaurant.com).
UNCLE WILLIE'S FROZEN COFFEE AT SKINNY DENNIS & ROCKA ROLLA: I celebrated my birthday by organizing an afternoon of day-drinking at Rocka Rolla last year, but happened to show up hungover thanks to someone else's birthday party the evening prior (everyone is born in September!) I feared my evening of unrepentant whiskey consumption would derail my plans to drink away my last day of being 24, but thankfully, Rocka Rolla serves up the Uncle Willie's Frozen Coffee, a $7 caffeinated slushy topped with coffee grinds and a whole lot of bourbon.
I drank about eight of them and stayed out until after midnight, and though I would not necessarily recommend that a layperson consume that many Frozen Willies, they are delicious as hell and they will keep you awake. Skinny Dennis serves these babies too, which is good news if you need extra juice to keep you going through a film at Nitehawk or an eardrum-banging honky tonk performance.
Skinny Dennis is located at 152 Metropolitan Avenue at Berry Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (skinnydennisbar.com). Rocka Rolla is located at 486 Metropolitan Avenue between Union Avenue and Rodney Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
FROZEN POMEGRANATE MARGARITA AT ROSA MEXICANO: Even fervent blended margarita haters have to admit the signature frozen pomegranate margarita at this Mexican chainlet is a thing of tequila-packed beauty. For $12, you get a glassful of blanco tequila, triple sec, pomegranate and lime, all blended together into one smooth, fruity concoction. Don't let all that deliciousness fool you, though—these babies are strong. Feel free to eat all the chips and guacamole you can afford in hopes of grounding all that alcohol.
Rosa Mexicano has three locations in the city: 61 Columbus Ave between 62nd and 63rd Streets on the Upper West Side (212-977-7700, rosamexicano.com); 1963 1st Ave between 57th and 58th Streets in Midtown East (212-753-7407, rosamexicano.com); and at 9 East 18th Street between Broadway and 5th Ave in Union Square (212-533-3350, rosamexicano.com).
CONCRETE ROSE AT THERAPY WINE BAR: Don't confuse rosé—the universal wine of summer—with the frozen signature drink offered up at this Bed-Stuy wine bar. The Concrete Rose is actually a solidified slushy Shiraz, despite its confusing name. Still, for $13, you get one tasty alcoholic dessert—pair with a cheese platter and prepare to suffer the most delicious brain freeze of all time.
Therapy Wine Bar is located at 364 Lewis Avenue between Halsey and Macon Streets in Bedford Stuyvesant, Brooklyn (718-513-0686).
FROZEN FLIGHT AT HO'BRAH TACO JOINT: This teensy Brooklyn taqueria (now with a Staten Island outpost!) knows what's up when it comes to tequila-heavy drinks, boasting a long list of flavored and classic margaritas that range from around $9 to $11. If you're looking for a drink on the rocks, you can opt for basic cucumber and jalapeno flavors, or try a funkier spice like crushed pineapple and fresh ginger. Frozen margaritas come in mango, blueberry, raspberry, strawberry and classic, though if choosing one is too daunting, there's a $16 frozen margarita flight that comes with four ever-so-slightly smaller flavored margaritas of the day.
Ho' Brah Tacos is located at 8618 3rd Ave between 86th and 87th Streets in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn (718) 680-8226, hobrahtacos.com); and at 412 Forest Avenue in West Brighton, Staten Island (718-442-8226, hobrahtacos.com).
FROZEN BEER SLUSHIE AT UNCLE BOONS: If you want a cold beer but aren't interested in re-tasting the blue mountains from your fraternity days, Uncle Boons' Frozen Beer Slushie is your ticket to the next level of Frost Brewed refreshment. Pick up a frigid pint down at 7 Spring Street in Nolita, where you'll find yourself surrounded by delicious Thai food and a bevy of other unusual cocktails. The slushie, known in Thailand as "Bia Wun," is made from Chang beer and comes served up in a chilly mug. One drink will set you back $7, but we promise it's the best deal around, especially considering other less palatable frozen beers around town. And as an added bonus, enjoy some of the strangest and most spectacular restaurant promo videos you've ever seen. (Abigail Rowe)
Uncle Boons is located at 7 Spring Street between the Bowery and Elizabeth Street in Nolita (646-370-6650, uncleboons.com).
SOJU SLUSHIES AT MOMOFUKU NOODLE BAR: Soju, a distilled vodka-esque liquor made from rice, is considered the most popular alcoholic beverage in South Korea. And at Momofuku Noodle Bar, it's jazzed up with frozen flavors like Spicy Lychee, watermelon, pear, and basil lemonade, pairing perfectly with chilled spicy noodles, miso ramen, and the bar's signature fried chicken dinner. Note that the flavors change seasonally, so check the menu beforehand if you're looking for something specific.
Momofuku Noodle Bar is located at 171 1st Avenue between 10th and 11th Streets in the East Village (212-777-7773, momofuku.com).
FROZEN SANGRIA AT HOTEL TORTUGA: Hotel Tortuga is one of my favorite East Village burrito spots, with its quick service, decent food, and self-serve chip basket. But it's the frozen sangria that's had me coming back time and time again. $5.50 gets you a glass full of dark-red slush that's simultaneously tart and sweet, and dotted with very-chewable frozen blueberries. A half pitcher runs $14 and a pitcher runs $24—hangover-fighting Advil not included.
Hotel Tortuga is located at 246 East 14th Street between 2nd and 3rd Aves in the East Village (212-228-1884, hoteltortuganyc.com).
FROZEN LYCHEE AND WATERMELON DRINKS AT PYE BOAT NOODLE: Thai spot Pye Boat Noodle is a relative newcomer in Astoria, having debuted in the area just about a year ago. In the ensuing months, though, the eatery's $5 frozen lychee and watermelon drinks have netted accolades from thirsty customers, who swear by the chilly concoctions. You can spike your drink with rum or vodka for an extra cost, or stick with the non-alcoholic option if you're teetotaling for the night.
Pye Boat Noodle is located at 25-13 Broadway in Astoria, Queens (718-685-2329).
PINK BABY AT BABY'S ALL RIGHT: Aside from being a prime spot to see, say, The Pizza Underground or Nick Diamonds, spectacular Williamsburg music venue Baby's All Right boasts a solid food menu, with everything from avocado toast to baked mac & cheese to fried chicken on tap. But the best offering here is the Pink Baby, a lush booze trophy comprised of frozen grapefruit, vodka and mate. A cup runs $8 during regular hours, but if you make it during the bar's daily 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. happy hour, Pink Babys are a lethal $3-a-pop—and don't let the small serving size fool you, because these little things are deadly as hell, and fully responsible for this blogger drunkenly stumbling backstage during an Awkwafina concert once upon a time.
Baby's All Right is located at 146 Broadway between Driggs Avenue and South 6th Street in South Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-599-5800, babysallright.com).
DAILY SLUSHIE COCKTAIL AT MOTHER'S RUIN: Cryptically named and casually hip, Nolita's Mother's Ruin might just become your go-to chill-out spot this hot 'n humid summer, with a parade of new ice and alcohol combos coming out every day. A chalkboard proudly boasts their Daily Slush, which in the past has included frozen white sangria and a rhubarb-gin-lemon combo. Founders Richard Knapp and TJ Lynch do their part to nix the pretentiousness inherent to the term "mixology," and take great pride in giving Mother's that dive-bar feel. Take a tip from a few Yelpers: as delicious as the drinks are, keep your limits in mind—these are quite a bit stronger than the average slurpee. Our suggestion? Fill up first on their always tasty (and always changing!) Everyday Edibles menu. (Abigail Rowe)
Mother's Ruin is located at 18 Spring Street between Mott and Elizabeth Streets in Nolita (212-219-0942, mothersruinnyc.com).
ANYTHING AT OTTO'S SHRUNKEN HEAD: Should we thank this determined pirate bartender for keeping Tiki alive on our gray, concrete island of Manhattan? Or perhaps the frozen drink list at Otto's Shrunken Head speaks for itself. Either way, anyone looking to imbibe amidst the kitsch and clutter of this divey East Village institution should feel free to do so this summer, knowing they have "the blessings of all the South Sea Gods" on their side. Keep things classic with a frozen daiquiri or margarita, or test the tropical waters with Coco Bango and German Chocolate Cake. And be sure to check out their calendar, in case you want some live music with your brain freeze. (Abigail Rowe)
Otto's Shrunken Head is located at 538 East 14th Street between Avenues A and B in the East Village (212-228-2240, ottosshrunkenhead.com).
BEER ICE CREAM FLOAT AT AMUSED: One of the joys of frozen cocktails are their ability to transport you back to a simpler time, one in which the chime of an ice cream truck signaled the arrival of a soft-serve vanilla cone and not an impending six hours of having "Pop Goes the Weasel" stuck in your head. Upper West Side eatery Amused digs into this delicious nostalgia, serving up a beer float made with vanilla ice cream and Mother's Milk Stoat. This tasty concoction runs $10, which is about $7 more than that soft-serve cone from your days of yore. But hey, beer!
Amused is located at 142 West 83rd Street between Columbus and Amsterdam Avenues on the Upper West Side (212-799-0080, amusednyc.com).
MARGARITAS AT EL PATRON: If you find yourself in Flushing craving alcohol and a cooldown, head to this spot, where they'll hand you a breezy margarita in a Patron bottle. El Patron's signature drinks are $18, but we'd be genuinely shocked if you found yourself needing more than one. As one Yelper put it: "I'm getting pretty close to hammered off this one margarita, so they're doing something right, that's for sure." Take a look at their full menu [pdf] , where you can find a bounty of yummy Mexican food to pair with your booze. Perhaps you'd like a side of Chiles Rellenos to accompany the impending hangover? (Abigail Rowe)
El Patron is located at 194-01 Northern Boulevard in Flushing, Queens (718-819-2121, elpatronmexicangrill.net).
