Bizarre trends in thievery have really come full circle. First it was Tide detergent, whose distinctive orange bottle apparently carries quite a cachet on the streets. Now criminals are after the very substance that Tide prides itself in defeating: Nasty, rancid cooking grease.
The oil, an essential ingredient in biodiesel, goes for an impressive $1 per gallon on the streets, the Post reported today. The city has around 30 licensed "haulers" commissioned to transport the grease legally, but it turns out the swindlers are actually much savvier at the siphoning game. From the Post:
“They’re so fast they stole the whole thing in 45 seconds,” said Eric Mayor, owner of Milk Hamburger in East Harlem. “It takes the company I hire almost five minutes to get the same oil.”
The thieves employ the same tactics used in any good heist: they work "under the cover of darkness," and even disguise themselves as authorized employees like some smelly version of Ocean's 11. The oil may go for a buck on the streets, but that's nothing compared to what we'd pay to see George Clooney hunched outside a Queens McDonald's, an errant french fry clinging to his still-flawless coiffure.
If you're concerned that this is some statement about America's lard-loving culture, it's not just us, OK? The lissom Brits across the pond are having the same problem.
