The Worst Yelp Photos Of NYC's Best Restaurants
21 photos
<br/><br/>Everyone photographs their meals for social media bragging rights these days—a meal is only as good as the amount of Likes you get on Instagram, after all. But great smartphone power does not automatically come with great smartphone photography, as evidenced by the laughable struggle plates we've witnessed by trawling Yelp's user-submitted photography sections. Don't worry Martha, you're <a href="http://sfist.com/2013/11/18/martha_stewart_made_a_dish_at_ateli.php">not alone anymore</a>.<br/><br/>We wondered whether this phenomenon was limited to <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/brother-jimmys-bbq-new-york-5?select=_5M1DzyxZgVwn2Ag1BgwFg#lWCxQAgbsuv84e0UH5KbgA">(possibly) drunken nacho documentation</a> or if top tier restaurants were prone to the same kind of unappetizing photography. A peek around the thousands of photos tagged at <a href="http://gothamist.com/2013/12/30/restaurant_map.php">our top three NYC eateries</a>—Le Bernadin, Eleven Madison Park and Per Se—gave us the answer, and it's not pretty.<br/><br/>It should be noted that by and large, NYC's more upscale (read: expensive) restaurants have more photogenic food, and even amateurs can be proficient at capturing a well-composed plate. You'll likely have better luck photographing an <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/per-se-new-york?select=0nV47p7WsQ1H4Rc_0RLqJQ#Mt9wRN7XM1EZbIu0jrKvmw">artfully arranged scallop dish</a> than you will a <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/alta-new-york?select=rPn0fM7g5olp73Nyd0fzGQ#0Lp6L6wdIBcVYt9Iu5ASAA">pile of Brussel's sprouts</a>. That said, poor lighting, an unsteady hand and a general lack of awareness on how to operate one's phone camera can make even a $500 meal look like crap.<br/><br/>The percentage of beautiful food porn was much higher than the duds, luckily, but it makes you wonder: why put these bad photos up at all? Is it simple ignorance to the photo's quality? A desire to show the world you've "made it" by dining at a pricey eatery? Regardless the reasoning, it brings us endless joy and laughter. And for that, we thank you. <br/><br/>And now, it's time to publicly point and laugh, for which the internet was created. We've focused on just food shots here, though there were plenty of <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/per-se-new-york?select=0nV47p7WsQ1H4Rc_0RLqJQ#8SdKd047f334cd53fmg-IQ">bizarre portraits</a> and a <a href="https://twitter.com/nellcasey/status/438423046895177728">startling collection of bathroom shots</a> that could have been included. With the exception of some cropping and resizing to fit the gallery, these photos have not been altered or distorted. Click through for some fine dining butchery.
<br/><br/>Swamp Spider KILL IT WITH FIRE!
(Per Se via Yelp)<br/><br/>Never has creme brulee looked so depressing.
(Per Se via Yelp)<br/><br/>That is supposed to be a photo of blueberry sorbet but it's really the universe collapsing in on itself. Or a tumor.
(Per Se via Yelp)<br/><br/>"Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear..."
(Per Se via Yelp)<br/><br/>I knew we shouldn't have fed Fido that week-old bolognese.
(Per Se via Yelp)<br/><br/>Kill the body and the head will die.
(Per Se via Yelp)<br/><br/>If only scientist could invent some way to focus a camera lens on the object you're photographing...
(Eleven Madison Park via Yelp)<br/><br/>When Culinary Arts meet Nail Art meets Racial Harmony.
(Eleven Madison Park via Yelp)<br/><br/><em>Wolf of Wall Street</em> outtake?
(Eleven Madison Park via Yelp)<br/><br/>All that's missing is the crime scene tape.
(Eleven Madison Park via Yelp)<br/><br/>It takes real skill to make lobster look this unappetizing.
(Eleven Madison Park via Yelp)<br/><br/>Come here so Auntie Mable can give you a great big KISS!
(Le Bernadin via Yelp)<br/><br/>No mere earthquake was going to stop photography of this cookie basket.
(Le Bernadin via Yelp)<br/><br/>How'd my pre-dawn yogurt shot get in here?
(Le Bernadin Yelp)<br/><br/>"I went to Le Bernadin and all I got was this sad, half-eaten cracker."
(Le Bernadin Yelp)<br/><br/>Contrary to what you may think, that is NOT balut.
(Le Bernadin Yelp)<br/><br/>The darkness adds more flavor to the shame sauce.
(Le Bernadin via Yelp)