New York City's chosen people don't mess around when it comes to the matzah! Intrigued by the fascinating process behind making matzah, Gothamist decided to embark on a matzah taste test of all the city's best unleavened bread today. But like a goy at her first Passover, we didn't realize what the scene would actually be like at the city's most venerable matzah-making establishments.

Curious matzoh-hunter Marc Yearsley was on hand at Kehilath Yakov Bakery and Satmar Shmura Hand-Matzoh Bakery and provided the following insight:

At Kehilath Yakov, I saw about 10 men go into the open basement hatch and could see even more jammed down there, so I followed. In the basement is where much of the dough manipulation was going on. From what I could tell it was where they were stretching out the matzo, and there could've been about 50-75 people down there.

I went into the main door into a hallway brimming with coats (and what seemed to be a coat check on the first floor). Out of a side door peeked a worker with a gasmask and apron on and I could see a bowl of flour. I had to go up a set of stairs that took you to a small landing with a sink and rooms on either side. To the right was the ordering station, I think. I have no idea how it worked because I was told that everything was ordered in advance, but there was a lot of money exchanging and small note cards being swapped.

Yearsley eventually made it out of Kehilath Yakov with "scrap" matzah that, according to the baker, hadn't been "checked for quality." The matzah is thinner, dryer and much more "well done" than the store-bought Manischewitz. It's also larger and circular, as opposed to the machine-made matzah. Meanwhile, Yearsley couldn't even get inside Satmar Shmura Hand-Matzoh because they were only accepting pre-orders.

Rounding out our sadly pathetic attempt at a matzah taste test is Sugar and Plumm's Matzoh Buttercrunch, which tops the crisp bread with butter, light brown sugar, dark chocolate and salt. It goes without saying that this decadent dessert disappeared from our Silver Table of Sin more quickly than its traditional counterpart.

While you probably won't be able to snag any matzah from Satmar Shmura Hand-Matzoh Bakery or Kehilath Yakov today, you can pick up a bag of Sugar and Plumm's creation for $5.50 a bag; quite a steal considering their Easter options.