We at Gothamist are fully in support of bagels, be they Canadian or styled as pizza or, begrudgingly, rainbow colored (but never toasted). Things we are not fully in support of: ridiculous marketing gimmicks that involve our beloved bagels. And so, here we are, humbly asking guests of this Times Square hotel not to order this "$1,000 bagel" the hotel is resurrecting beginning November 1st.
"This one-of-a-kind bagel features Alba white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves," according to the hotel, which allegedly first offered the expensive bagel in fall of 2007. Since then, "requests...come in yearly without fail," though our inquiry regarding how many bagels had actually been purchased in the past went unanswered {Update: A rep for the hotel says five bagels were sold when the dish was first launched]. The hotel says all proceeds from the sale of the bagel—which is tax and gratuity included—will be donated to Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen...before humbly suggesting maybe you'd like a $315 ounce of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon on the side.
Friends: do not order this bagel.
It's great the hotel wants to raise awareness about the hunger epidemic and has sought out a worthy beneficiary for whatever money it makes on this bagel creation. But New Yorkers don't need gimmicks to be charitable (not that it's the New Yorkers who are most likely to be ordering this thing). And they certainly don't need their ringed bread, perfect on its own with maybe a slick of cream cheese, to be "gussied up" with things like pricy truffles and "health" berries and flakes of edible gold.
Here's what real New Yorkers should do instead: go to their favorite bagel shop, order their standard order, pay the bagel shop, leave the bagel shop, write a check to Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen—or another worthy entity feeding hungry city dwellers—repeat as often as is financially viable for you.
