Where’s a single New Yorker to look for love in 2026? There are, of course, myriad dating apps, but those are increasingly gamified, expensive and, most importantly, don’t seem to work. There is also, of course, the analog world, formerly the only world, where, since time immemorial, humans found their mates at school, at work, at houses of worship, through mutual friends, through family, etc. But after a decade of swiping, a global pandemic, the rise of AI, and the decay of the world order, navigating the so-called meatspace has become much harder for many singles.
And so, amid this fraying of the social fabric and the mating rituals of our species, many brick-and-mortar establishments are stepping in to help love-seekers connect with one another off the apps, in real time, through a host of hyper-local matchmaking shticks and events.
Manhattan French language school Coucou NYC has instructor-led French speed-dating nights; West Village wine bar The Lavaux has weekly secret message parties (wherein participants anonymously send handwritten conversation starters to people there they’d like to meet); Bed-Stuy watering hole Paul’s has designated a bartender the Arbiter Of Love and connector of crushin’ patrons; Clinton Hill coffee shop Prima publishes personals in a paper newsletter; and a Brooklyn food co-op has singles nights where members can “flirt about produce” with their “co-op crush.”
For the businesses, such programming is low-cost and low-risk, and for lovelorn New Yorkers — social muscles still atrophied from the pandemic and tiptoeing through the cancellation-laden minefield of making romantic gestures — it’s a blessing.
Last year, Chinatown bookstore Yu & Me Books started the Mingles event series. The evenings invite patrons to come hang out at the shop, have some snacks and meet new people. Colored wristbands are handed out to distinguish if you’re seeking friends, lovers, or both, adding a transparency and intentionality that really helps people connect, said Yu & Me owner Lucy Yu.
“These are probably our most popular events right now,” Yu said.
Yu said people today are “hypervigilant, understandably” and not nearly as open to just asking for someone’s number as they may have been a decade ago.
“There’s such a disconnect now between person to person. We’re in app overload, our sensory stimulation in general is shot,” she said.
And so instead of sitting at the bar waiting for love that may be too nervous to approach them, they come to a bookstore with the intention of finding it, at an event organized around it. There are plenty of such events to choose from these days.
Indeed, attendance at dating events grew by 49% in 2024 alone, according to one recent report.
Brands have also gotten in on the trend, with leakproof underwear brands and bagel places alike looking to hook you up. There are dating-focused trivia event producers, a slide deck-based “matchmaking experience” and classic dating apps like Feeld all partnering with local entities ranging from bars, cafes, and bookstores to help Gotham’s lonelyhearted find love in real life.
Amy Van Doran, a professional New York City-based matchmaker of 19 years, says “matchmaking is at an all-time busyness." Recently, she’s noticed the amount of matchmakers “skyrocket” both in terms of individuals and singles events.
She blames everyone having seen the 2025 matchmaking romcom “The Materialist,” and also social awkwardness.
“My job shouldn't exist,” said Van Doran, who also does relationship coaching. But “we’re all just horribly maladjusted, and so we have to have structured little games to talk to each other. People really do need permission to talk to each other.”
The apps give that permission, but so do the singles events, which also offer a feeling of participating in a classic if now almost nostalgic human ritual.
“It’s a lot easier trying to re-energize that idea of, you can still meet someone at a bar, in a somewhat traditional way,” said Gabi Mann, owner of Williamsburg’s Baba. The wine bar and the group Flirt Club will once again be partnering with Baba this Valentine’s Day, putting on a “crush party.”
To kick off the events, which are posted publicly, the group uses software from the company Match.Box, which matches participants after they take a questionnaire. But the heart of the parties comes from the fact that most attendees are personally invited by one of the three cofounders, so “you all have one of us in common, so you already have an entry point into a conversation with someone,” which makes it easier said co-founder Parker Damato. In that way, the events are less a traditional singles meet up than a lusty gathering of their extended community.
“It feels a bit like throwing a house party,” said Damato. And that's vital because, as with the ability to naturally meet a romantic partner in the wild, “house parties just don’t really feel like they’re a thing anymore.”
