The glorious reign of President Trump (May He Live For A Thousand Years!) has already destroyed relationships and at least one very sad man, and Stephen Colbert isn't sure whether he's more "horrified or entertained" by it. "It’s like one of those nature documentaries where the python unhinges his jaw and slowly swallows the capybara...and then becomes President of the United States," he said.
But like a lot of establishment Republicans, Colbert is starting to think about settling for another GOP candidate, one who is comfortable with the fact that he knows no one really likes him that much. "[They’re] also relying on Marco Rubio, a man who doesn’t mind telling you he was not your first choice,” Colbert said. "He’s just saying the election’s not getting any younger and America needs to settle. He might not be the president of your dreams, but you’ll learn to love him."
Trump is "a one man Cirque du Soleil, in that I cannot figure out why either one is popular," Colbert said in another segment on the orange-tinged man with the golden calf on his head. But if even the Pope can't stop Trump, what chance does Rubio have?
Colbert also made a list of things Hillary Clinton could do to bring him great joy, such as making him ambassador to Narnia, pardoning the Groundhog Day groundhog, and make sure Trump keeps running for president forever.
