City parks are the closest thing many New Yorkers have to a backyard. My apartment, like many in the city, doesn’t have any outdoor space.

So Prospect Park has become my version of a backyard, and over the years, I’ve attended many birthday parties and hosted summer hangouts there. I’ve watched my friends grilling, drinking, smoking and playing music on speakers. I saw it happen so often, with no fear of repercussions, that it was easy to forget that some of these activities are against official park rules.

When I really think about it, it’s not surprising that drinking alcohol and smoking aren’t allowed. Grilling is allowed, but only in designated areas. But here’s one I really didn’t know: If you host a party with more than 20 people, you’re supposed to have a permit.

My colleague Emily Nadal and I wanted to see what other parkgoers thought, so we spent a recent Friday afternoon talking to folks enjoying the spring weather in Prospect Park and Sunset Park. Most agreed that there’s an unspoken rule that should override all official park rules: Mind your own business and be respectful of the people around you.

“People work really hard in this city. Some dude wants to sit back in the sun and crack a Corona? Live and let live, right?” said Alex O’Keefe, who was with his dog Yonder in Sunset Park.

Aracely Jimenez, who grew up in Sunset Park, agreed. “The city’s supposed to be for everybody. As long as people are being safe and healthy and responsible, no harm, no foul,” she said.

Here are other examples of acceptable behavior that parkgoers shared:

  • Drinking alcohol responsibly and discreetly as long as you aren’t acting belligerently.
  • Do not smoke directly in people’s faces or near children.
  • Getting permits for parties with more than 20 people is silly, especially if your party’s self-contained and you clean up your trash. “You’re not going to tell your 21st friend that you're over capacity in the park and you need a permit to sit down,” McCall Gridley said.
  • Unleashing your dog is OK, but only if you know your dog is well-behaved and won’t approach other people, especially kids.

“ I think it should be easy to drink, like wine and beers and things like that. It's nice weather – why not? We can learn a few things from Europe,” said Amir Imani.

When I asked why having fun requires so many rules, Asha Harris, an assistant commissioner with the Urban Park Service, told me the rules are essential for safety and protecting public spaces. Unlawful vending and unleashed animals were the top two reasons for summonses in parks in the last two years, according to city data.

Then there were the more obscure rules I found out while digging into this topic. Being topless is legal anywhere in the city, including parks! The rules also prohibit anything that could hurt wildlife, like climbing trees, hammocking, picking flowers and feeding wild animals.

Of all the rules, Imani was most bothered by the hammocking ban.

“It's one of the best things that you can do in Prospect Park. You hear the birds and you are protected from cars, just lying down and enjoying the breeze,” said Imani. If the concern is hurting trees, then there should at least be designated poles for hammocking, he said.

I think city parks should be enjoyed by everyone, but what counts as acceptable behavior depends on how you grew up. I was raised with big multigenerational parties filled with cooking and music in a backyard somewhere in suburban New Jersey, but that might feel like a disruption to someone else in a crowded public park.

That’s part of the reason why Jimenez thinks it’s important for people to know the official rules of parks.

“When people don't know the etiquette, that’s when people call enforcement on somebody else and that's how dangerous situations can happen,” she said.

Emily Nadal contributed to this story.