I found myself standing on the second floor of an event space at a swanky Chelsea hotel on a recent Wednesday staring at a tasteful condiment display that immediately reminded me of a museum exhibition—just substitute the scarab ring of Sithathoryunet for French's Mustard. People were still arriving, but many had already begun gathering around a comically-oversized Jenga game, nibbling on bacon-encrusted shrimp platters. EDM music was playing ever so softly in the background, as if a rave were happening inside a chimney. I had no idea who anybody was or why they were there—and by the end of the night, I was still not convinced they knew either—but I had come to bear witness to the birth of a once-in-a-lifetime machine: it is the unveiling of DJBBQ5000, the world's first grilling apparatus-slash-DJ station.
Ben Yakas/Gothamist
I get literally hundreds of pitches a day that fall into the chasm of my work email; on a good day, I can get through about 20% of them. But when you get a ridiculously cryptic email inviting you to see a "first-of-its-kind grilling innovation that combines grilling and music" with almost no other information except for the fact that said machine has been miraculously named DJMOTHERFUCKINGBBQ5000, you do not miss that email.
The event, which was being presented by the McCormick brand, was also being hosted by the inexplicable duo of reality star Pitmaster Myron Mixon and Fresh Prince collaborator DJ Jazzy Jeff, but that is just the proverbial cherry on top—or as we say in the DJBBQ5000 community, the headphones on the grill. You don't go to a Bar Mitzvah because you're a big fan of emcee Shlomo Rabinowitz-Stein; likewise, I wasn't necessarily invested in seeing DJ Jazzy Jeff pontificate on the inherent good of brand partnerships. But I was filled with an endless number of questions about the nature of DJBBQ5000.
After some back and forth with the press person, I was able to discern that DJBBQ5000 was not some sort of novelty gift, augmented reality app, PB Livin's latest surefire moneymaker, or a giant prank on me: "The grill is made up of innovative technology that will allow beats to be created based off of what's happening on the grill." And also: it would be "the only one in existence!" She could not answer what mad scientist dreamed up this product, nor why a machine that would never be put on the market was being promoted so heavily. She also didn't know what brilliant, beautiful mind came up with the name, but maybe I could suss it out if I came to the event. There was never a chance I wouldn't go.
As with so many mythological origin stories, DJBBQ5000's unveiling coincided with a massive storm hitting the city. Bad weather necessitated that the event be moved from its original outdoor location to inside the hotel, meaning it was unclear whether we would be getting an actual demonstration of the machine. But at least I was finally in the same room as it—and it was even larger in person than I had imagined, with neon blue light-up grill knobs and two condiment holders on either side of the grill which also lit up with LED strips. On the back was its sleek official insignia: headphones with spatulas on each end.
As I hovered around DJBBQ5000—and mind you, I was the only person there who seemed more interested in it than in the giant Jenga game going on or the free alcohol—I started to wonder whether this was really just a giant advertisement for McCormick's condiment brands, which seemed to have been more lovingly displayed than the actual machine. It also felt like at any moment, someone was going to come out and try to sell us on a low-interest, high-reward pyramid scheme involving Stubb’s Bar-B-Q Sauce.
It turned out my hunch was mostly right: a woman eventually came out to start the demo and talked about a brand awareness campaign, something having to do with summer playlists, and the synergy of having Myron Mixon and DJ Jazzy Jeff, who were said to be "world-renowned in their fields," together. There was talk about the intersection of music and food, and "bringing magic to life in a real, tangible way to people... bringing really cool consumer experiences to everyday people."
Sure, maybe this was all just a cynical promotion for Big Condiment, but finally, you could flip burgers and flip tracks at the same time.
Mixon and DJ Jazzy Jeff then came forward to show how to use DJBBQ5000—albeit without actually turning the grill on, because they weren't allowed to fill up the room with smoke. So they instead pantomimed grilling (which included using the condiments on the raw burgers and veggies) while enabling the DJ functions, all to show off how to use a product no one in that room, or possibly anywhere ever again, would likely ever get to use. You can watch clips of that below.
The demo was fun, but the real euphoria for me came when I got to speak for nearly half an hour with three of the people who were responsible for imagining and then building DJBBQ5000. I am in near tears thinking about the beautiful absurdity, the synergetic pointlessness, the ridiculous awesomeness that went into the creation of DJBBQ5000.
Because the amount of effort and creativity that goes into a piece of machinery like this—no matter how shallow or seemingly pointless the ultimate ends of the campaign—truly is awe-inspiring. Late stage capitalism is so often a complex web of good intentions, rotten greed, hard work, systemic exploitation, and absolutely depressing outcomes—this was a reminder that in pursuit of selling mustard and tapping into the "ultimate summertime BBQ experience," a bunch of creative people had put their heads together to build a singular object of joyous purity that transcended its cynical origins.
To pull apart the web for a moment: Stephane Hockenhull and Steve Martell work for Current Studios, which was hired by the global advertising firm Grey on behalf of McCormick's for this project. They were chosen for this thanks to a project they made last winter for the Philadelphia cream cheese brand, The Double Diptector, which "catches double dippers in the act at social gatherings." Working on strange assignments was their bread and butter: "The typical for us is the atypical," noted Hockenhull. "We had to make a car sneeze once. So it's within our range of unusual tasks."
They were given a vague mandate with only a few pieces to work off of: McCormick's ad agency wanted a summertime campaign to promote the company, and they knew they had Mixon and DJ Jazzy Jeff available to use for the project. They were given two months to put the whole thing together, including building a prototype of whatever they came up with.
"It was like, could we make something that fits everyone and gets those two guys sitting behind the grill? And that was really the birth of the idea," said Martell. "So we had to find a way to do that within these constraints and the time, and it's gotta cook food that people can eat, it's gotta be food safe, it's gotta be fire safe."
They experimented with a camera that could "use AI to look at the food and try to understand which foods were which"; they played around with weights and scales on the grill. They eventually realized that they could incorporate thin steel touch sensors inside the grill because they could withstand the heat and not get in the way of the actual grilling. Each segment of the grill was given its own touch sensor, which then connects via USB with a computer and any DJing program à la Ableton Live. You can then assign each grill unit with its own sound bank, and when food touches the grill, the sound is triggered.
Hockenhull said it was like building a MIDI controller inside a grill: "It's just literally the same tech as a phone touch screen but on a barbecue."
Taylor Browning of Smart Department Fabrication was hired to make the actual machine—she is also the person who decided DJBBQ5000 is a lady—and trying to make it as user-friendly as possible. All the materials used to make it had to individually go to the Fire Department to pass inspection. But the touch sensors were actually the easiest part of building it—about 80% of the computer inside the grill is for "gesture control."
Those condiment displays on the side served an even greater purpose it turned out: when you take one of the condiments off, it cues a camera to look for the motion of you using the sauce or spice, which then triggers another sound (you can hear the sound of fireworks going off in the videos if you listen carefully). If you pump your fist, the camera will also detect that and play a sound. Mixon's BBQ cosplaying suddenly made a little more sense.
"It's like something out of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy," Martell noted at one point.
I now understood why the product existed and how it came into being, but I still didn't know who christened it DJBBQ5000. Even the three of them didn't know: "Because 4000 was not enough, 6000 was too much," joked Hockenhull.
I left the event a little while later, and was handed a bag full of McCormick's brand condiments on my way out.
The next day I received a followup email from Grey's with the official announcement of the project, along with an official video (see below): "Developed by several brands within the McCormick portfolio, the custom-made grill uses pressure sensor technology to adjust beat sounds based on where food is placed on the grill and how specific sauces and spices are used to flavor the food."
Except something terrible had happened: they had changed the name. My beloved DJBBQ5000, light of my life, thrill of my grill, was now called...SUMR HITS 5000. The summer playlists thing finally made sense, and the synergy of it all made me gag. Joni Mitchell once sang, "They paved paradise to put up a parking lot." Now I finally understood what she was talking about.
Even the publicist seemed to share my dismay: "I know the original name kind of rolled off of the tongue, but I’m getting used to SUMR HITS 5000." In my last correspondence with her, I asked in desperation, "Is there any chance I could adopt DJBBQ5000?" She never responded.
